How to Write a Best Man Speech That Gets Laughs and Tears
The best best man speeches do two impossible things at once: make the room laugh until they cry, then make them cry for real. Here's how to pull it off.
Part of the Best Man Speech Guide : examples, tips, and structure for every best man.
You've been asked to be best man. Congratulations, and condolences.
Because now you have to stand up in front of 150 people, some of whom you've never met, and say something so perfect that your best friend will remember it for the rest of his life. No pressure.
Here's the thing nobody tells you: the best best man speeches aren't the ones with the best jokes. They're the ones that feel true. The room doesn't laugh because you're funny. They laugh because they recognize something real.
The two-act structure that actually works
Think of your speech in two movements.
The first is where you're the comedian. You're proving you know him better than anyone else in the room. You're establishing credibility through specificity. The joke about the camping trip that went sideways. The text he sent at 2am that you've saved on your phone. The thing he always says when he thinks nobody's listening.
But here's the trap most best men fall into: they stay in the roast forever. They confuse "embarrassing" with "meaningful." They forget that the groom isn't just their buddy anymore. He's also her husband, her partner, her person.
The second movement is where you shift. You bring the tenderness. You talk about the version of him that only you've seen: the one who was terrified before the first date, who called you the morning after he met her, who somehow became a better version of himself without either of you noticing.
That shift is everything. It's what makes the laughter mean something.
On specificity
Generic speeches say things like: "He's the most loyal friend I've ever had."
Great speeches say: "He drove four hours on a Tuesday night because I sounded sad on the phone. He didn't ask what was wrong. He just showed up with a six-pack and terrible advice. And it was perfect."
The second version is specific. And specificity is the only thing that makes an audience lean in.
Before you write a single word, sit down with a piece of paper and answer these questions:
- What's the moment I knew he was one of a kind?
- What's something he does that nobody else knows about?
- What did I think of her the first time he told me about her?
- What changed in him after he met her?
- If I could say one sentence that I want him to carry with him forever, what would it be?
That last question is your ending. Work backwards from there.
On the humor
A few things that will save you.
Punch sideways, never down. The best jokes make fun of a situation you were both in, or a universal experience, or best of all, yourself. The jokes that land hardest make the groom wince because they're true, not because they're cruel.
If you have to ask whether it's okay to tell a story, it's not okay. The mother-in-law is in the front row. The grandmother who doesn't speak much English is right next to her. Whatever you're second-guessing, cut it.
One well-told story will always outperform a rapid-fire list of jokes. A story that builds and has a punchline at the end is better than ten one-liners. You're not doing stand-up. You're telling the truth.
The ending that earns it
Your last 60 seconds will determine how people remember the whole speech.
Don't end on a joke. End on the groom's face. End on what you want him to feel when you sit down.
Tell him, directly, in front of everyone, what he means to you. This is awkward and you will want to make a joke to cut the tension. Don't. Let it land. Let there be a beat of silence before you raise your glass.
Then say something short and true about the two of them together. Something you actually believe. Something that would survive being written on a card and kept for 20 years.
Then raise your glass.
That's it. That's the speech.
Keep reading
- Best Man Speech Examples That Actually Sound Human
- Wedding Speech Jokes: What Works and What Doesn't
- Funny Wedding Speech Tips: How to Get Real Laughs Without the Cringe
The most important speech of your life deserves more than a template.
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