The father of the groom speech
He needs to hear it from you. Not the best man. Not his mother. You.
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A speech only his father can give
The father of the groom doesn't always get a slot on the official schedule. The best man speaks. The father of the bride speaks. And somehow the groom's father gets folded into "anyone else who'd like to say a few words."
That's a missed opportunity. Because the father of the groom sees something nobody else in the room sees. He watched this person grow from someone who couldn't tie his shoes into someone choosing to share a life with another person. That arc is worth three minutes of the room's time.
Whether you're speaking at the rehearsal dinner or the reception, the speech doesn't need to be long. It needs to be specific. One story. One honest thing about your son. One genuine welcome to the person standing next to him. That's the whole speech.
What makes a father of the groom speech work
Earned emotion
Fathers of the groom often try to keep it together by staying surface-level. But the best speeches earn their emotion through specificity. You don't have to cry. You just have to say one true thing. The room will do the rest.
Your perspective
Nobody else in that room watched your son grow up the way you did. The best man has the college stories. You have the full arc. That's your advantage. Use it to say something only a father could say.
Brevity as respect
Three to five minutes is the sweet spot. You don't need to cover everything. You need to say one thing well. A short, focused speech from a father hits harder than a long one that tries to say it all.
“I didn’t teach him how to love someone.
I just watched him figure it out.”
What to cover
Four beats. This order. Three to five minutes total.
Your son
Not a biography. Not a timeline. One thing about who he is that the room might not know, or knows but has never heard you say out loud. The best father-of-the-groom speeches are the ones where the son hears something he didn't expect from you.
Welcome the new family
You're gaining a son or daughter. Say something specific about them. Not just 'welcome to the family.' What do you actually appreciate about this person? One observation that shows you've been paying attention means more than a hundred warm generalities.
A story that shows growth
The room wants to see the arc. The kid you drove to Little League is now standing in a suit next to the person they chose. One story that connects who he was to who he is. The contrast is what makes the room feel something.
The toast
End with a sentence that looks forward. You've said what you needed to say about the past. Now raise your glass to their future. Keep it short, keep it honest, and trust that you've already said the thing that mattered.
Common questions
Does the father of the groom give a speech?
Traditionally the father of the groom gives a toast at the rehearsal dinner rather than the reception. But more weddings now include a father-of-the-groom speech at the reception itself. Check with the couple about their preference.
How long should a father of the groom speech be?
Three to five minutes. Long enough to say something meaningful, short enough to keep the room engaged. If you are speaking at the rehearsal dinner, you have slightly more room, but five minutes is still a good target.
What should a father of the groom say?
Talk about your son (one specific quality or story), welcome your new family member with something genuine and specific, share a brief story that shows growth, and end with a warm toast to the couple.
How is a father of the groom speech different from father of the bride?
The father of the bride speech typically carries more emotional weight and tradition. The father of the groom speech tends to be slightly shorter, often at the rehearsal dinner, and focuses more on welcoming the new spouse into the family.
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He needs to hear it from you
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